God Empowered - Excerpt



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Excerpt from The God Empowered Wife

Chapter 1 excerpt

Does the following sound familiar? You're efficient, smart, organized, and make sure everything that needs to get done, gets done. You're physically tired, yes, but mostly just tired of being the responsible one. You husband is a decent guy who heps when asked--but you still have to ask, which means it's stil your responsibility. Sometimes you joke that having a husband is like having another child.

Then, there's the marriage itself. Things look fine on the outside, but they're not really. In public, your husband is charming and cheerful. At home, he's distant or grouchy--apparently more interested in anything else than spending quality time together. Faith, instead of being something that defines your marriage, is a private, individual matter . . .

He's frustrated, too. Somewehere along the way, being married became more of a burden than a joy. The way you always help him drives him crazy and makes him feel inadequate. "I don't need another mother,' he says to himself. You have the right answer for everything--at least you think you do--and he's tired of being corrected criticized, and contradicted in what he says or does. It's easier to bury himself in television, hobbies, or work than fit into your world--a world where he's never quite good enough. He may not have said it out loud, but he's probably thought it: "What does she need me for a husband, anyway?"

Today, women leave their husbands as often as men leave their wives, but at the time, it was more often the latter. Women who had given up their jobs to devote their lives to their families were abandoned in record numbers for younger, more career-minded women. Often, the new wife enjoyed the financial benefits the ex-wife's sacrifices had made possible-while the ex-wife struggled to re-enter a job market where outdated office skills and "caring for family" were unacceptable applicant entries for previous work experience.

It was an irony not lost on their daughters, raised as they were in an era of feminism. These girls were greatly influenced by the sexual revolution and understood the power of assertiveness, competitiveness, and manipulation. They were attracted to young men as much as any other generation, perhaps more so, given the absence of their fathers. However, as soon as they had wooed and won their "catch," they dispensed with flirtatious pretensions and switched back to their more authoritative personality. It was time to get down to the business of having a relationship.

Their brothers, obliged to obey their mothers and respect their sisters, were often personae non gratae in what had become a pseudo-matriarchal environment. It wasn't easy to be a young man in a culture where "That's just like a man" was definitely not a compliment, and "Do you want to end up like your father?" was a rhetorical question. Out of sight, out of mind was the safest place to be, and keeping a low profile was the best way to avoid confrontation.

Most were some variation of, "Everyone knows a good husband is one who has learned to obey his wife," and all were accompanied by hearty laughter from the men. In fact, it was the men who usually made the comments. The wives just smiled and nodded at each other as if to say, "Can you imagine what a mess they'd make of things without us?" . . .